There, I said it. It’s like my brain is pre-wired to think “WORST CASE SCENARIO” regarding every issue, whether it be kids, friends, husband, money…. The monologue in my head goes something like this:
“Why isn’t my husband home yet? He said he’d be home 10 minutes ago. I hope there wasn’t an accident….would the police know he’s got me listed as ‘All My Love’ in his phone?” Seriously, I’ve thought that. Poor husband thinks I just get frustrated that he’s running behind…. And… OK. Sometimes it’s that. But sometimes, a lot of times, my “frustration” is actually leftover stress from 10 minutes of straight WORRYING.
“Why hasn’t she texted me back yet? Is she mad at me? What did I say that could be construed as offensive?” *reads text again 35 times* Hmm….
Back in college, I had a friend who used to commiserate with me. We called it “analyzing.” Really, it was hashing out all of the worries and fears and “what-could-go-wrongs” and ascribing intent to every person who said something to us that we couldn’t quite figure out the meaning of…
When I became a mom, I immediately became a professional worrier. What could possibly go wrong? OK, that’s what I’m going to mentally prepare for. “What ifs” became my preferred line of thought. My thought life was chaos.
With every new milestone came new dangers and fears. Yay! My oldest can ride his bike! (More mobility and independence?! Yikes.)
There weren’t enough helmets, knee pads, and wrist guards in the world to calm my fears.
I’d love to say I’m no longer a worrier, and I never fight the fears that creep in to my head…. I’m still a mom. I’m still a little “analytical” sometimes.
But here’s what I’ve learned about my Father: He is a peace-giver. His heart hurts when He sees His daughter live in constant fears and worries and what-ifs. No fear or worry is ever from Him. His heart is set for my good, not my destruction. That includes my children. He loves them more than I do. There is someone, however, who wants nothing more than to destroy my kids. And me.
And he is the master at crafting thought-darts designed specifically to target your worst fears.
I like how Beth Moore describes how she faced her worst fear. She says that she was praying about this fear, and she felt God whisper, “What would happen if that came true?” She was stunned and she describes how she told God how devastated she would be. He seemed to respond, “Well, Beth, what then?!” After more back and forth of the same, she finally told God, “Well, then I’d have You. And I’d cry out to You and read Your Word and cry out to You more.” Our worst fears have absolutely no standing against the all-consuming love and compassion our Savior has for us.